Report #3 :: Please Send Funds

Attn: Banana Coalition
C/O Choco Pacho

The worst part about coming back after a two year absence is finding that no one at the Coalition seemed to have noticed I was gone at all. Maybe that was a failure on my part. I could have been more consistent with my reports. Well, this last week I was working on writing reports that would have been what I had written since I got here had I not destroyed them all, but maybe you don't care what happened two years ago and would rather I get on with my present reports.

A direct threat to the Banana Coalition is the Economic Crisis the Humans are currently facing. If Humans are unable to make money then there will surely be a drop in Banana sales. On the other hand, Bananas are more nutritious and less expensive than Strawberries, and though the Humans tend to prefer the flavor of Strawberries, during this time they are more likely to go with a more cost effective fruit. Bananas = More Nutrition for Less Money

Honestly, it's a win-win for the Humans because Bananas are better than Strawberries in every way. Nutrition, Price, and Flavor (most Humans just don't understand this). It won't take long for them to realize that Bananas are much better tasting than Strawberries after all. Now that I think about it, it's not a threat to the Coalition at all! This could very well benefit us greatly.

Still, I've taken quite a hit financially. They've cut my hours at work and I can barely afford the Human's accommodations. Please send some money so I can provide more valuable research. Although I haven't had an opportunity to study the Human's Prison Life, I don't believe it is necessary. Life is grody enough outside of a Detainment Facility for lesser Humans.